December 15, 2011  Thursday

OK, just haven’t felt up to writing the past couple of days.  Been feeling bad, mentally and physically, “self-medicating” with food, not exercising, getting too wrapped up in work conflicts, loathing my schedule, unable to recover from long work hours and accompanying fatigue, Masto in an uproar...  Saw the doc yesterday and she’s not pleased at all.  Put me back on several meds I’d managed to get off of for a time.  

Highs are fewer and further between and lows are deeper and last longer.  Something about the low carb eating plan seems to greatly help my body and mind and even put a damper on some Masto symptoms.  It warrants more serious attention than I’ve previously given it.  The hellish part is the carb cravings may dull a bit, but never, ever end.  Worth it, I think, to reduce the pain level.  Certainly helps my joints and muscles ache less and my thoughts are clearer.  Doesn’t allow for the “self-medication” aspects, though.  Protein doesn’t supply the “hit” I’ve so often used to get thru difficult times.  I realize I’m using it as a drug.  My innate ability to rationalize points out that, unlike alcohol or recreational drugs, humans cannot function without food.  There are flaws in that argument I’m not entirely ready to tackle.

Just signed up for a couple of Writer’s Digest University courses, one starting today and another at the end of December.  Both last a number of weeks and will compel me to write, submit, deal with critiques, and meet deadlines.  I can do them at home, the coffee shop, just about anywhere.  Were I working night shift, I could easily do them then, but after last week’s experiment, I’m not willing to go back there, at least not yet, but that’s a topic for another day.